Time to look in a new direction.

Since we arrived in Montreal, my husband and I have been struggling with understanding how we could grow our family. We started adoption processes over several times, but because of border issues and immigrating issues, we were always met with dead ends. When we finally found an agency and home study agency to help us we were worn out. We began looking at our finances and wondering how we could afford international adoption again, since domestic was out of the question. Just when we said we were finished, I felt a new found desire to pursue infertility treatments. I was overwhelmed with information while searching for a specialist and chose one in Burlington, Vermont.

I am now mid-process on my first IUI, and have been feeling the discomforts of some of the infertility drugs. I know that Heavenly Father didn't want me to give-up trying to be a mother of more children. I am hopeful, yet realistic in our efforts and am grateful for my friend Shauna who helped me to find faith and hope in fertility treatments.

I had to give myself a shot on my 13th day of my cycle and failed miserable. I took a short class on how to do it, but when it came time to sticking myself, I was such a wimp. I had to give it to myself at a specific time; we had just arrived at the cabins with my parents. I was sitting in our van and Craig had gone into register us. I got everything ready, pinched my skin, and then looked over at my mom in the car over and mouthed, "I can't do this!". Craig ended up doing it for me. Once the needle was in, I realized that it wasn't that bad. Still, not fun.

I wanted to share this earlier, but am so used to keeping things to myself. I'm trying to be more open with people, my family, and friends. I know that this will be a good process for us and I'll keep you updated on our progress.